


A Kinder Place

by Talvenhenki



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 02:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30014811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: Julian, exhausted from overworking himself, helps a little girl escape an abusive situation. It quickly becomes obvious that this is the final straw for the doctor, who finds himself helped by Garak.
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Elim Garak
Kudos: 14





	A Kinder Place

**Author's Note:**

> This fic had a life of its own and ended up working differently than I had hoped. Warnings for implied & referenced child abuse as well as Julian being generally rather down in here.
> 
> I might write a fic where I explore the headcanon of Julian accidentally overworking himself when he gets too immersed by his work/study, who knows?

Julian was agitated. The plan had been to get the woman and her daughter into the sickbay under the guise of a check-up – well, Julian really did want to make sure that the girl wasn’t hurt, so the check-up was true, at least – and then have the commander come in. It had been Keiko O’Brien’s idea to have the family be outside of their quarters; according to her, it could make the mother cooperate faster if she didn’t have her position of power.

Julian hated that the little girl – Samantha – would have to be there for all of it. She would have to see her mother accused of abusing her. Of course, Julian knew that the mother had abused Samantha because Samantha had accidentally told him. Not that she’d meant to. She’d tried to deny it, begging Julian to keep it a secret, but that went against everything he believed in. He’d gone straight to Commander Sisko to confirm Keiko O’Brien’s suspicions.

Samantha had originally come to Julian’s attention when Keiko had asked him to give her a quick check-up. She’d come to school with a sprained wrist and Keiko had immediately brought the girl to the sickbay. Keiko had had her own suspicions about Samantha’s home life but, before Julian’s intervention, she hadn’t been able to confirm them.

“I’m sure we wouldn’t have needed to impose on your time”, Samantha’s mother, Dani, said, “you see, my daughter is incredibly clumsy. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with her!”

“I’d like to see that she’d alright myself, nevertheless”, Julian replied. Trying to keep his discomfort to himself, he began the usual check-up procedures.

It would only be a few minutes before the commander would arrive with Keiko. Julian would only need to perform the check-up for a few minutes longer before Commander Sisko would take the lead. Hopefully those few minutes would not be too stressful for little Samantha.

“Now, let’s get your height and weight measured”, Julian said, smiling at Samantha. The girl rushed to the measuring tape, no doubt excited to know how much she had grown.

Julian had been working long hours for weeks, and the exhaustion was starting to show. He hadn’t slept for a few nights and he was starting to feel irritable. He certainly hoped that Keiko and the commander would be arriving soon – he wasn’t sure how long he could keep on the act.

When Samantha had been weighed and Julian had complimented her on her growth, Dani snapped her fingers. Looking up, Julian raised his eyebrows, while Samantha seemed to become agitated.

“I hope this check-up won’t take too long”, Dani said, shaking her head, “you see, Samantha doesn’t enjoy being away from home too much. Surely you don’t want to make the poor girl unhappy?”

Before Julian could reply, however, the door opened, and Commander Sisko entered with Keiko in tow. Much to Julian’s surprise, Odo was there too, looking even more grim than usual.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Johanssen”, Commander Sisko said, “I’d like a word with you. Would you come outside with me?”

Dani shook her head. “No, commander”, she muttered, “here is good.”

“We’ll stay here, then”, Commander Sisko agreed. “Now, it has come to my attention that you have been mistreating your child. Mrs. O’Brien had suspected this already for some time, but we only got confirmation yesterday. As you’re a Federation citizen, and it’s illegal in the Federation law to physically lay hands on your own children, we must launch an investigation. For the time being, we will also take custody of Samantha from you and place her into the care of our schoolteacher. Are we clear?”

Dani laughed disbelievingly. “I have never hurt my daughter, commander. There must be some sort of a misunderstanding here!”

“That’s a lie”, Julian breathed, “Samantha told me herself what you’d done to her, and it was more than just giving her a sprained wrist. It’s all out in the open, whether you want it or not, Mrs. Johanssen.”

Snarling, Dani turned to Samantha, raising her hand to hit her daughter. However, Julian was faster. He leapt between mother and daughter and, instead of Samantha, the hit landed on Julian. He fell over, only by luck managing to shield his head from hitting the ground. Julian could hear Samantha crying and people struggling, and when he opened his eyes, he saw that Odo was restraining Dani by her wrists.

Sitting up, Julian pulled Samantha into a hug. Telling Dani that she would be charged for assaulting an officer, Odo took her away. Samantha was still crying, clutching Julian’s uniform.

“It’s alright, Samantha”, Julian whispered, “you’ll be safe now.” Looking up at Keiko, he added, “Mrs. O’Brien will look after you for now. She’ll make sure you’re safe and comfortable.”

Kneeling beside Julian, Keiko smiled. “That’s right, Samantha”, she said, “I have a daughter who is a few years younger than you. She’ll probably be very happy to get to know you.”

Nodding, Samantha let go of Julian’s uniform. She was still teary-eyed, and Julian gave her a tissue to dry her tears on. After a few moments of coaxing her, Samantha followed Keiko out of the sickbay. Julian, feeling deflated sunk onto his office chair and dug the heels of his hands against his eyes hard enough to see little specks of light.

“Doctor?”

Faster than humanly possible, Julian pulled his hands away and looked up. To his surprise, Commander Sisko had not left along with Odo or Keiko and was now looking curiously at Julian. Julian felt his palms sweating at the sight – he hadn’t wanted anyone to see him show signs of weakness.

“You have been overworking yourself again, haven’t you?” Commander Sisko asked. When Julian nodded, Sisko sighed and tapped on his comm badge. “Sisko to Dax. I need you in the sickbay. You were right about Bashir; he’s done it again.”

“I’ll be there”, Jadzia replied through the comm line.

Shaking his head, Sisko pulled up a chair and sat down across Julian. “I’ll give you two days off, along with the weekend”, he explained, “and I want you to rest. This is the second time you’ve done this in ten months. I need you to deal with this, and if you need help, I need you to tell me that.”

“I – I’ll be fine”, Julian breathed, “it’s just a matter of self-regulation. I sometimes get so excited by whatever I’m doing that I forget I need to rest. I’ll be more careful in the future, I promise.”

Commander Sisko sighed. Studying Julian’s face carefully – maybe he was trying to find signs of deceit – he waited for a few moments before speaking again. When he did speak, his voice was somewhat softer than usual, perhaps to make Julian feel safe.

“You said the exact same thing the last time. I don’t want this to become a habit, Doctor Bashir.”

“It won’t.”

The door slid open and, as Julian looked up, he saw Jadzia entering, followed by Garak. The tailor, upon seeing Julian’s exhausted look, turned immediately to look at Jadzia, frowning. Julian offhandedly wondered how Jadzia had got Garak to follow her into the sickbay.

“Mister Garak”, Commander Sisko greeted, “Dax has explained it to you, then?”

“Only that our dear doctor has overworked himself to a state of exhaustion once again”, Garak said. With a few steps, he was by Julian’s side. “No one told me that he was miserable as well. What _happened_ here? Surely there’s some explanation you can give me.”

“A young woman was accused of abusing her daughter”, Julian whispered.

Garak nodded. “So, that was the well-known last straw, was it? I assume that you’ve been given some leave, haven’t you?” When Julian nodded, Garak continued, “well, then, let us get you back to your quarters. This time around, I’m the one nursing you back to health.”

Julian, feeling a little bit detached, allowed Garak to pull him up and lead him away from the sickbay. Before Julian even noticed it, they were in the habitat ring, already by Julian’s door where Garak used Julian’s fingerprint to open the automatic door.

Once inside, Garak sat Julian down on the sofa before replicating Julian something warm to drink. “Now, my dear doctor”, he said, “what can I do to help?”

Julian blinked. “I…I don’t know”, he breathed, “I hadn’t even realised it had become a problem until…until Mrs. Johanssen knocked me down. Up to that, I thought I would be alright. Now…I think I’ll just need to know that little Samantha won’t have to live with her abusive mother anymore. That at least one child has been saved from that terror today. Because if she has to go back to the abuse…I don’t think I could live with myself in that case.”

Sitting next to Julian, Garak held Julian’s hand, slowly running his thumb over Julian’s knuckles. Julian, not having expected such gentleness from Garak, looked up, surprised. With his free hand, Garak cupped Julian’s cheek, to which Julian immediately responded by leaning into the touch.

“I think”, Garak said softly, “that you have aided in the child’s recovery today more than anyone has yet. You have done well, dear doctor.”

“I feel so hopeless”, Julian whispered, “every time I manage to help a child out of an abusive home, I find a new case just like the other. Why is it that there are still children suffering because of their parents? Why is it that I have to remember my own childhood every time I see a child like Samantha?”

“What happened in your childhood?”

Julian’s heart skipped a beat. He had messed up. He had brushed against the secret, the ugly secret that no one was supposed to hear about, ever. Julian had almost told Garak about Adigeon Prime, about being an unnatural _freak_ , all because his parents had wanted a child who would win science prices at school instead of needing remedial education.

Julian had almost let the secret slip out. Pulling away from Garak, Julian tried to shield himself and his secret from being found out.

“It’s nothing”, Julian lied, “I was just exaggerating.”

“Forgive me”, Garak said, “but looking at the way you’re behaving, I find it hard to believe it’s nothing. Tell me, dear doctor. What is it? If you want it kept a secret, I promise it will never be revealed by me.”

Sighing, Julian ran his hand over his face. How could he have been so stupid, as to let Garak get wind of his little secret? A spy like Garak would never let it rest until he found out what it was that Julian had had to live through as a little boy.

“When I was a child”, Julian began to explain, “my parents had a… _procedure_ performed on me against my will. I was too young to understand it back then, but as I grew older, I began to feel betrayed. My parents always expected the best from me but when it came to protecting me, they chose not to do so, as if my sense of security wasn’t important enough to them.”

In a gesture of surprising gentleness, Garak pulled Julian into an embrace. He rubbed Julian’s back, knowing very well how it calmed Julian. Julian, on the other hand, kicked off his shoes and pulled his legs up to rest on the sofa. Were he not so exhausted, he would have enjoyed the gentleness Garak was showing him.

“I am sorry that it happened to you”, Garak breathed, “your parents had no right to do what they did.”

“You must promise”, Julian said breathlessly, “you must promise that no one will find out what I told you tonight. If the secret comes out…it might get me in trouble instead of my parents.”

“I assure you, dear doctor, the secret will not leave this room”, Garak promised, “at least, not from me. Your secrets belong to no one but you.”

Garak was now massaging Julian’s scalp. Julian wondered how Garak knew it would help as Julian had never told anyone how much he liked it when others played with his hair. Closing his eyes, Julian sighed and leaned his head on Garak’s shoulder. The exhaustion was finally starting to catch up on him, and he wondered if he could even bring himself to move from the sofa to his bed.

As if he could read Julian’s thoughts, Garak patted his back. “I think it would be wise for you to get some sleep, dear doctor”, he said, standing up. “Would you like me to stay? Lieutenant Dax has made it very clear that I should keep you company until you feel better, but I do not wish to impose on you.”

“Stay?” Julian whispered. “I’d feel better if you did.”

Smiling, Garak helped Julian up and walked him to the bedroom where he instructed Julian to get changed while he’d go fetch his nightclothes. Julian, feeling too tired to be very careful, haphazardly threw his uniform to one corner of the room and put on a fresh t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants to sleep in. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Julian found that he simply had no energy to do anything else.

Garak returned soon. Having quickly changed into his nightclothes, he walked in the bedroom to find Julian still sitting on the edge of the bed, too tired to move. Smiling – this was a smile only reserved for Julian, not Garak’s usual secretive smile – Garak ushered Julian to actually lie down and pull the quilt over his shoulders. Garak then snuggled under the quilt himself, as close to Julian as he could.

“Garak”, Julian mumbled after a moment’s silence, “do you think the world is ever going to become a kinder place for children?”

“Yes”, Garak replied confidently, “I do believe that. As long as people like you continue to try, the world can – and _will_ – become a better place. It gives hope to those of us who have had to suffer as children. Perhaps our offspring will inherit a better world than we were given.”

Julian, already rather sleepy, snuggled closer to Garak, hugging him. “I’m sorry”, Julian whispered, “that you’ve had to suffer too. I wish I could take it away.”

“We both know it doesn’t work like that”, Garak said, “but I thank you for the sentiment.”

In the morning, Julian wouldn’t be quite all right yet, but he would definitely feel rested. Having been held by Garak for most of the night certainly helped; Julian’s moods were easily influenced by a positive touch.

After all, the world was becoming a kinder place.

**Author's Note:**

> Comint?


End file.
